Cigar Holding Psychology
From The Perspective of a “Qualified Cigar Psychologist”
Introduction:
As we all know, cigars are all about preferences – preferences in flavor profiles, preferences in country of origin, preferences in sizes, and even preferences in the way you hold your cigar. You probably haven’t thought about the way you hold your cigar much, if at all, but I can assure you that I have. More than any one person should.
Coming to you from the perspective of working in the cigar industry, and having a degree in psychology, is there anyone more qualified to talk about cigar holding psychology than myself? Probably, but that’s beside the point. Strap in, because we are going to take a quick journey to hypothesize what the way you hold your cigar says about you.
Before we jump into it though, I want to make two things abundantly clear. First, every picture you see in this article is representative of a way I have seen people hold a cigar with my own two eyes. Secondly, and more importantly, this is all “theory” so please take it with a grain of salt.
Okay, let’s make Dr. Freud proud.
Cigar Holding Psychology:
1. “The Conductor”
- Origin of Name: The way an orchestral conductor waves his stick around.
- Personality Traits: Calm, Easy-Going, Gentle
- Interests: Petting Zoos, Going with The Flow, The Great Outdoors
2. “The Pool Shark”
- Origin of Name: The way one would hold a pool cue.
- Personality Traits: Reserved, Introspective, Introverted
- Interests: 80’s Hair Metal Bands, Beer (in a can), Weed Whacking
3. “The Pinch & Roll”
- Origin of Name: I’ll let you decide.
- Personality Traits: Standoffish, Sensitive, Timid
- Interests: Jigsaw Puzzles, Green Tea, Noise Cancelling Headphones
4. “The Hammer Fist”
- Origin of Name: The way one would hold a hammer
- Personality Traits: Bullish, Tireless, Energetic
- Interests: Manual Labor, Scotch (neat), Impassioned Speeches
5. “The Dart Thrower”
- Origin of Name: The way one would throw darts
- Personality Traits: Thoughtful, Astute, Perceptive
- Interests: Woodworking, Measuring Cups, Binoculars
6. “The Freudian Slip”
- Origin of Name: Probably the way Dr. Freud unconsciously thought about holding his cigar
- Personality Traits: Philosophical, Contemplative, Attentive
- Interests: Theoretical Sciences, Home Libraries, Recording TV Shows
7. “The Executive”
- Origin of Name: How I imagine a wealthy day trader would hold their cigar
- Personality Traits: Rational, Analytical, Trendy
- Interests: Line Graphs, Suede, Zero Calorie Sweeteners
8. “The Tickler”
- Origin of Name: Undisclosed
- Personality Traits: Neurotic, Gutsy, Enthusiastic
- Interests: Local Improv Shows, Apple Picking, Not Using Sunscreen
9. “The Soul Crusher”
- Origin of Name: The feeling you get when your favorite team loses in a primetime game
- Personality Traits: Passionate, Lively, Engaging
- Interests: Dollar-Dog Nights, Line Dancing, Not Separating Trash & Recycling
Closing Thoughts:
So, there you have it. 10 long years of serious research all culminated in a 500-word article. Like the late Sigmund Freud, whose research and influence I spent four years studying, I too am a student of theory. This may very well be the greatest academic achievement of my life so far, but my work is not done, and my research WILL continue.
For now, be sure to leave a comment and let me know how you hold your cigar and whether my theories match up to you and your personality!
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